Nobody Can Fight Our Demons || Stella Beck

[Captain Ben Finn]

••• Stars are only visible in darkness •••
••• Fear is ever-changing and evolving •••

Honestly, Ben had mixed emotions about returning to Aurora. He'd done it once when he'd taken his brief leave from the Guard, and that was mainly because he knew he didn't favor a return to the cursed deserts. His logic had been 'conquer your fear,' not that he'd ever admit that he held some of such an emotion back in his reserves of emotions and memories. It was an extremely lost cause on him. The empty desert would forever feel sinister and foreboding to him, and there was nothing he'd ever be able to do to change it, no matter how hard he tried.

Granted, the Aurorans were nice enough people. They'd seen so much of unthinkable death and destruction, but they'd still survived. That was a good a reason as any to try to swallow whatever unsettled memories he was still sitting on, even with all the time that had already past since... Well, he didn't even want to go there.

The male let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head to clear it of such thoughts. Dwelling on the damn thing wasn't going to change the fact that he had willingly agreed to accompany Stella on this little trip to where it had practically all really started. If he was honest with himself, it was just as much for his personal reasons as it was as a need and want to protect her and be there for her should something happen in the land that was as unforgiving as it got. He knew she was a strong woman and that she was definitely capable of handling and taking care of herself, but... he still wanted to be there for her, just in case. So much had happened, and Ben hadn't been able to wrestle away his concern for her, although he'd masked it enough to simply agree to go with her with no mention of why he accepted. She hadn't asked, and he didn't see any reason for her to really do such a thing, so he hadn't put her through his complicated list, even though it was comparatively small, of reasons for tagging along.

Aurora was a place that really put personal demons into perspective. He had actually considered that as a potential reason for why even the thought of actually going there agitated him and got under his skin. It wasn't even so much that it was old personal demons... It was more so the ones he felt like he'd met there. He knew it was a crazy thing to even think, because what had he done there that would've made him have such demons? Quite frankly, he couldn't put his finger on it. He had a few guesses as to what was potentially bothering him, but anyone would tell him that those things were no reason to feel guilty. There was nothing he could've done to change the outcome of what they'd all experienced in Aurora, but there was some form of regret there either way. The only thing left to do about it was figure out why it was there and try to find some way to accept it or manage it. There was no fixing the past, after all, and there were just some wounds that couldn't be mended. Aurora definitely had the tendency to be the place he believed one could get many of them.

tagged • @Queen Stella Beck
lyrics • Battle Cry by Imagine Dragons
notes • I'm having a sudden want to return to simple templates for a while. xD
outfit • this
words • 563
credit • Calypso

[Queen Stella Beck]

Don’t get too close It’s dark inside It’s where my demons hide Waves lapped softly at the pier as Stella stepped off the boat, her mouth in a grim line. She knew that it was wrong of her to hate a part of her own kingdom, especially when the city in question hadn't even done anything to deserve such hatred, but the monarch detested visiting Aurora with every fibre of her being. She knew that she shouldn't and it was unkind of her to have such feelings; the Aurorans were nothing but kind and hospitable. The kindness of its citizens by far outshone that of most other cities in Albion, and Stella knew that she should love Aurora because its people embodied all of the traits that she held in high esteem - loyalty, kindness, selflessness. But try as she might, she simply couldn't. The city held such grave memories for Stella that the only place worse in all of Albion was Wraithmarsh. If it hadn't been for the fact that her dear brother was clearly in love with his own royal aide (even though he was being a stubborn mule about it and refusing to admit his feelings), Stella wouldn't have gone. She would have sent Mac and a few other guards that she knew that could handle the harsh Auroran landscape, and left all the rescuing to them. She enjoyed doing the noble thing and being the hero (not that she would ever admit such things allowed; she was far too modest to say she actually enjoyed playing superhero), but she wasn't about to risk life and limb for Briar. Stella tolerated her simply for the fact that queens had to be civil to their staff, but that was it. All warmer feelings towards the woman had long disappeared. But given Logan's obvious feelings for that pretty little blonde with an acidic tongue, Stella felt that she should be the one to go save her. Blood was thicker than water, after all, and the woman would never forgive herself if something happened to Briar while she wasn't there. At least if she went herself, she would know that she'd do everything humanly possible to get Logan's aide back or get maimed trying (her knapsack was full of resurrection phials just in case the monsters in Aurora had evolved and had become harder; she wasn't about to die for Briar, of all people). The brunette let out a long sigh and marched up the pier to the awaiting town. She was glad that Ben had decided to come along on this misadventure with her. Mac would have been a fine companion and ally on this trip, but he didn't understand what Aurora could do to people. Worse, he didn't understand exactly what she'd been through on her first visit there, and though she was certain he'd be supportive, it just wouldn't be the same. Ben, however, knew exactly what she'd been through. He'd helped her through the horrible ordeal the first time and knowing that he was going to have her back once again this time soothed her and gave her courage. She could do this. She could face her Auroran demons, once and for all. tagged: @Captain Ben Finn    ||    words: 524 ||    outfit: undecided ||    notes: *grins at the picture that started it all* ||    credit: thank you april (myfairtardis)

[Captain Ben Finn]

••• Stars are only visible in darkness •••
••• Fear is ever-changing and evolving •••

Ben looked over his shoulder as Stella stepped off the boat and onto the pier to join him. He knew she was no happier to be back here than he was, although he understood she had way more reasons to be upset about this mission than he did. While he was uncertain of just where she stood with her brother, he understood she stood on, to put it nicely, 'uneven ground' when it came to the prince's aide. She was his friend, and he'd always maintained that she could come to him with anything she needed to vent out that she may not be able to to others.

All of that wasn't even scratching at old wounds that they both had from this barren landscape. They had both been close to Walter in their own ways, and, now, as Ben rested his calm gaze, which was totally a contrast to his buried unease on the inside about being here on this mission, on the land that lay beyond the pier, a shiver ran down his spine at the memories of their last misadventure here together. When they had met that thing...

Even now, its name unsettled the male. He had met it once in the Second Battle for Albion, and terrifying had hardly been descriptive enough. 'The Darkness' was such a fitting name for the nasty demon... And the freaking bastard at the head of it all had stolen their friend in the cruelest way Ben had seen to date. That was a memory he felt not even the endlessly shifting sands of this very desert would bury for them. It would always haunt them.

Joining her in the march up the pier towards the town, he let his hand rest briefly upon her upper arm, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "You gonna be alright?" He had to ask, just to be sure. He knew she could handle herself, but this was rough... They couldn't deny that, but there was honestly no one else he'd rather be back here with. The one stop he'd made back here alone when he'd briefly left the Guard had been rough; it was hard to erase the memories that had settled like stones in his mind that he'd gotten from this place. But this was something they could do together. They'd done it once before, after all.

tagged • @Queen Stella Beck
lyrics • Battle Cry by Imagine Dragons
notes • *snickers* 'The picture that started it all...' <- The freaking accuracy of that. xD
outfit • this
words • 394
credit • Calypso

[Queen Stella Beck]

Don’t get too close It’s dark inside It’s where my demons hide A shiver ran up Stella's spine as she looked over the city and her mouth settled into a grim line. For a long second she closed her eyes, hoping with every particle in her being that when she opened them, she'd be back in the castle curled up under the heavy blankets of her bed. She knew that such wishes were absolutely pointless - they were the types of wishes that she pleaded and begged to Avo when her parents were killed. She'd spent months praying to the god to return her parents, spent months making every manner of bargains for their returned. But nothing worked. Nothing could resurrect the dead. She'd learned the harsh reality of that. Her breath caught in her throat as Ben touched her arm, a warm comforting tingle running up her arm at the touch as a wave of gratitude and affection washed over her. She was eternally grateful that he'd accepted the horrid invitation to kick some Auroran monster butt; this mission was likely going to turn her into a wreck by the end of it, and if someone had to see her at her worst (or rather, second worst, since the first trip through the Shifting Sands that she'd made with a possessed Walter and later the Battle of Albion were still tied for absolute worst) again, she was glad that it was Ben. He understood the horrors of the desert like no one else could. Mutely she nodded at the question before shrugging carelessly, turning her gaze away from him so he couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. She didn't want to cry. She was the queen - she had to be stronger than that. She had to be strong for her subjects. Crying was supposed to be done behind closed doors where no one could see you, or at least where the whole city of Aurora couldn't. She didn't want to cry right here, and yet a tiny part of her wanted to do exactly that. She just wanted to hug Ben and sob into his shoulder while he hugged her tight. She'd cried for months after Walter's death, but as much as everyone tried to comfort her, they couldn't. She couldn't go and ask Logan for hugs and comfort, given the fact that she'd booted him off the throne. And Jasper, though he desperately tried to give her reassurance, it didn't help. He was her aide and all interactions would always be laced with a touch of formality. All she wanted was to be held and told that it would all be ok, despite having heard the sentiment from nearly everyone in the castle. But maybe coming from Ben, it'd be different. She scrunched her eyes tight to prevent tears from spilling, finally shaking her head and looking up at Ben, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "I miss him so much," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I just...I just keep remembering leading him through the desert and how he kept begging me not to leave him. And after all that...he...I...he died at my hand," she choked out, a lump having formed in her throat. "I killed Walter."   tagged: @Captain Ben Finn    ||    words: 533 ||    outfit: undecided ||    notes: *sobs uncontrollably at the feels* ||    credit: thank you april (myfairtardis)

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